Forums » Critique

Critique please: I think I added the image this time rather than

  • September 23, 2012 3:18 PM EDT

  • September 24, 2012 10:34 AM EDT

    This is a lovely piece Lynda. One or two little comments. 

    The pathway forms an arrow that takes the viewer out of the painting. You could consider putting something in the right foreground to bring the viewer back in again and break up that arrow.

    Also the top of the wall, the individual rocks would likely be more horizontal on topand bottom, although the wall itself would tend as the path did, as you have painted it.

    I love the foliage in the top left and the subtle sky. 

  • September 24, 2012 11:20 AM EDT

    Thanks for your help Jennifer.

    I knew about the problem with the pathway.  In my value sketch and in reality the path curved around to the left.  I missed that entirely in the painting and made the path into a 'lookout' at the fence.

    And I think I understand your suggestion about the rocks.

    Again, thanks.

    Lynda

    Jennifer Smithwell said:

    This is a lovely piece Lynda. One or two little comments. 

    The pathway forms an arrow that takes the viewer out of the painting. You could consider putting something in the right foreground to bring the viewer back in again and break up that arrow.

    Also the top of the wall, the individual rocks would likely be more horizontal on topand bottom, although the wall itself would tend as the path did, as you have painted it.

    I love the foliage in the top left and the subtle sky. 

    • 286 posts
    September 24, 2012 12:26 PM EDT

    Hi Lynda,

    Thanks for posting. I wish more people would take advantage of the Critique section.

    I agree with all of Jennifer's comments.

    I have a question and a couple of comments.

    Where did you wish your "focal point" to be in this painting?

    The path does look like it continues to the right, however, the "corner" as represented by the change from stone wall to wood railings, looks very abrupt. It looks like a 90 degree turn, or simply that the path ends abruptly. As such it's disconcerting. 

    You've shown a delicate hand with the foliage in the background and in the trees. For some reason, for me, the grass on the right does not feel like it was painted by the same hand. (I'm not a water colourist, so take my comments with a large dose of salt.)

    Cheers,
    Keith

  • September 24, 2012 2:04 PM EDT

    Thanks for your comments Keith.  Can you see the comments I sent back to Jennifer??

    (I'm still not clear how this site works).  Basically, on my value sketch and in reality the path curved around to the left.  I completely missed that in my painting and turned it into a 'lookout'.  Good point about the right foreground...you caught me sponging something in and calling it quits!

    Again, thanks.

    Lynda

    Keith Thirgood said:

    Hi Lynda,

    Thanks for posting. I wish more people would take advantage of the Critique section.

    I agree with all of Jennifer's comments.

    I have a question and a couple of comments.

    Where did you wish your "focal point" to be in this painting?

    The path does look like it continues to the right, however, the "corner" as represented by the change from stone wall to wood railings, looks very abrupt. It looks like a 90 degree turn, or simply that the path ends abruptly. As such it's disconcerting. 

    You've shown a delicate hand with the foliage in the background and in the trees. For some reason, for me, the grass on the right does not feel like it was painted by the same hand. (I'm not a water colourist, so take my comments with a large dose of salt.)

    Cheers,
    Keith

    • 26 posts
    September 26, 2012 6:20 AM EDT

    Lynda

    As a fellow watercolourist, I really like the way you have handled the foliage, with a variety of greens.  I also like the way you have reproduced the burnt sienna in the stones elsewhere in the painting.  You have a good command of stone as a texture.   If you want to push this painting, which seems to be about 3 pm, try deepening the colours to about 5 pm -- or, just leave it and enjoy what it is.  Now, the next time, this is what I suggest:

     

    Mistakes in perspective are very hard to fix in w/c, Put in your perspective lines right at the beginning.

    Use a big brush with very watery washes at the beginning to establish the large masses.  Even just water alone.

    The big shadow shape is what makes or breaks a painting like this.  So when you are ready to do it, mix loads of shadow colour, - pathway, grass and possibly wall - study where the hard edges are, and how they become softer as the cast shadow is farther from the object, and paint the complex shape in one go.

  • September 29, 2012 4:23 PM EDT

    Thank you Ted, I appreciate your input (and the fact that you called me a "fellow watercolourist")  I find that when I'm painting en plein air it's more difficult to remember all the aspects one has to consider.

    L.

    • 26 posts
    October 16, 2012 11:02 AM EDT

    You have used an effective variety of greens in this painting, which is not an easy thing to do.  The use of light values throughout the painting captures the feeling of a warm sunny day.  

    To draw the eye back in to the painting you might try a vertical shape behind the wooden fence that is of deeper value to stop the eye at the edge of the painting. You might try a glazing of darker colour over one section of the back ground trees behind the wooden fence that will lead the viewers eye to the left top corner where you have place the larger background tree.   

    I applaud you for "re-arranging" reality when you were painting this scene.  If you do go back into this painting take care to keep the freshness of colour and brushstrokes.

    I suggest you leave the problems of perspective alone.  This painting is a moment in time.  Why not use this painting as a reference for another painting in which you explore perspective?

  • October 16, 2012 10:20 PM EDT

    Thank you Nancy.  I  appreciate your thoughtful comments.  I feel fortunate to get all the valuable feedback and encouragement I've received.  

    I think I'll not go back into the painting as I find it difficult to 'go back'.  I'm afraid I would lose the freshness that came from doing it plein air in a limited time frame.  

    L.

    Nancy Jones said:

    You have used an effective variety of greens in this painting, which is not an easy thing to do.  The use of light values throughout the painting captures the feeling of a warm sunny day.  

    To draw the eye back in to the painting you might try a vertical shape behind the wooden fence that is of deeper value to stop the eye at the edge of the painting. You might try a glazing of darker colour over one section of the back ground trees behind the wooden fence that will lead the viewers eye to the left top corner where you have place the larger background tree.   

    I applaud you for "re-arranging" reality when you were painting this scene.  If you do go back into this painting take care to keep the freshness of colour and brushstrokes.

    I suggest you leave the problems of perspective alone.  This painting is a moment in time.  Why not use this painting as a reference for another painting in which you explore perspective?

  • October 17, 2012 8:58 AM EDT

    Hi Lynda! I haven't time to read through the comments, but just wanted to say that there is a lot of lovely stuff going on in this piece. What you could do if you are not completely happy with it and don't want to ruin it by going back in, why not try using two L-shaped pieces of black cardboard to try different crops and then you can have a completely different composition and get rid of any awkward areas you don't like? I can see several great possibilities here - then all you need is a mat and frame :)